When I Was Skinny & Other Eating Disorders

I distinctly remember each time in my life when I was skinny.  I can get skinny but I don't stay there - I am doing something I can't maintain - mostly by bordering on compulsive/obsessive eating habits - trying not to eat every single second of every day - weighing myself 20 times a day - and being that annoying bitch who dominates every conversation by talking about her 'diet' and she's not really even all that fat!

The first time I got 'fat' my mom actually sent me to the country doctor to get some black beauties (speed) because she knew a neighbor girl who he gave them to and she lost weight.  The funniest part of that doctor visit was that they kept asking me if I was there to get birth control - they thought I was too embarrassed to admit I was having sex! I left there with a 1,000 calorie a day diet and no pills.

Fast forward to 40 years later and I'm dating a musician and going out to hear live music almost every night and dancing my ass off (talk about burning calories) - and he is occasionally sharing his Adderall prescription with me  (because hey, I work days and then stay up all night with him - who needs sleep? And yes -  I used to be wild and crazy!).  Then he dumped me - and up, up, up went the scales again.

So, now I weigh 142 pounds and I would like to weigh around 133 pounds - without dating another musician this time!  Haha!  This week for the Bar Method Challenge (https://barmethod.com/locations/austin-downtown/) I started tracking what I eat - so painful!  I fluctuated between 1600 and 1900 calories a day and my fat intake was higher than the recommended as was my sugar intake - my protein and fiber were pretty good (https://www.myfitnesspal.com/).

  • Fat 113-155 (44-78 recommended)
  • Sugar 81-90 (25 recommended)
  • Fiber 39-70 (25 recommended)
  • Protein 47-69 (51 recommended (.36 X your weight))
I need 2040 calories a day to stay my current weight (including burning calories everyday by taking Bar Method Class) and I need to cut my calories to 1540 a day if I want to lose a pound a week (https://www.healthstatus.com/perl/calculator.cgi).  Shit, that stressed me out so much I had to stop to eat a brownie and I'm sure my cortisol level just spiked so now my gut is going to hang out even more!  

My daughter is having a dinner party tomorrow (Sunday) so I will aim to start reducing my daily caloric intake starting on Monday - to 1540 a day - so now for some red wine to help lower this STRESS!

So at the end of the second week of the challenge, I am feeling good about the steps I've taken:

  • Increased frequency of attending Bar Method Classes
  • Added yoga to my weekly routine
  • Counted calories and gained a greater awareness of what I'm eating
  • Ate more fiber and whole foods like fruits and vegetables
  • Continued to blog about my challenge experience!




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